If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
