You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
