she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
