I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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