pedialite and red bull = repair kit
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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