it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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