If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
