Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
