last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
