she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
