Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
