Fuck appropriateness.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
