Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
meet me or not, i'm out of control
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Randomize
