If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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