the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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