I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
