someone get that fucking seahorse.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
