i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm eating all of the evidence.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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