It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
