he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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