Grow some girl-balls and come out already
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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