this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
