I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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