508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
