just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
