dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
