you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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