So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
this is an emotional support booty call
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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