Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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