Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
