I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
