biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
