Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
