i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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