Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
