So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
My balls are so social today.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
