Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
