I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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