Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
