I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
