how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
