as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize