It's Friday. Sex?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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