Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
two words: eviction party
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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