Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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