went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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