doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
