Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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