My sheets look like a crime scene.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
