"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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